21st Century at TJ Ranch

Although most of the world is well into the 21st Century, TJ Ranch is comfortably enjoying the advantages of the 20th Century. We may be 'late bloomers', but that's just fine with me.

In 1991 we got a telephone land line. It's quite extraordinary to tell your 24 year old that he was born before we had a telephone. About five years later we had a large satellite for television viewing. We no longer had to choose between three Puerto Rican stations; we had a whole realm of shows and movies. Our satellite didn't get local stations, so for many years we were unaware of local news or politics. TJ Ranch was a world to itself, an oasis from the "real world"...not actually 'off the grid', just off in our own world.
Then we got a computer and I became adept at the workings of e-mail and "the web." Perhaps because of the slow speed of dial-up, the kids never became enthralled with cyberspace. They learned enough to get by, but not much else. And that's where we were at the end of the 20th Century...and that's just about where we are today.

We have satellite internet and laugh at the ole dial-up days although  when I proudly offered our wifi to a teen-age guest and told him he wouldn't be able to watch some you tubes, stream events, play online games or even skype, he didn't understand. I guess we haven't advanced all that much. 

We have a website and facebook page...and that's about it. I never use my twitter account....it kind of feels like the question," when a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?" If I tweet....can anybody hear? does anybody care? I am "linked-in"...not sure to whom...or why. Instagram, netflix, pintrest, etc., etc. are all happening now, but not at TJ Ranch. Even a smart phone seems pretty stupid here. With scant cell service and slow downloads, a phone becomes...just a phone...and perhaps a camera.

And so here we are...able to e-mail and even bank online. Our new television has more capabilities than a rocket, but we're just fine with our little bit of technology. 

By the way...what's that thing that can skip commercials??? 

   

An open letter to Cesar Millan or Why I only have one dog:

One of the few things which upset tourists visitng Puerto Rico is the problem of stray dogs on the island. Now a days there are numerous organizations which are trying to deal with the problem and I will post links for them. Juan Agustín Márquez's documentary: "100,000" has demonstrated the dire situation of dogs in Puerto Rico and many celebrities have  finally rallied to the cause with donations and public service announcements on television. Here's a picture of a cutie dumped on the hill. I don't know what ever happened to him.

This blog is a personal essay, perhaps a lame excuse, or maybe a cry for help to Cesar Milan...as to why I only have one dog (and two cats).

I live in a doggie Garden of Eden. We have 42 acres of farm/jungle in the mountains of Puerto Rico. We're fenced in...originally for our goats...and now.. for us, I guess. We've always had dogs and although never properly trained, they became "good" dogs as they aged. With plenty of space, they never were "bad" dogs...unless rolling in the mud, jumping in the pool, sitting on the couch, jumping up to greet you with muddy paws...or stealing food off a tv tray is considered "bad". I've always considered dogs "family", and so keeping them outside never seemed particularly fair. Kathy, New Years, BC, Corazon, Mota, and Puppy will always have a special place in my heart.

Now we have Camila...or rather I have Camila. She showed up about three years ago when our kids were off to college, and she became mine. She was extremely shy, scared and eternally grateful (my interpretation) to find a loving home. I didn't hear her bark for weeks; she didn't dare come into the house....wow..I finally had a trained dog. We have a guesthouse/B&B and Camila would follow me and sit quietly in the corner of the restaurant. Poco a poco (little by little) all that changed. Guests loved her..."oh I miss our dog at home"..."we don't mind..she's ok"....and so now she's part of the business. Sometimes she jumps on people, but not usually. She doesn't beg for food, but if you pet her, she'll stay next to you begging for "carino" (affection). If she gets annoying, I can easily give her a treat and tie her in the corner.

Although I know it is possible to train a dog (or many dogs) to stay in certain areas, I don't think I can do it. I don't want more dogs in the restaurant or to follow me around, and I don't think I'm capable of letting one do something and not the others.

Today my daughter is paying to spay a dog dumped in the neighborhood. Catalina (the dog) will be staying here while she recuperates and then be put back on the street at a place where she has a bit of shelter and food from neighbors. I too will dump some dog food in her dish as I pass by. The #1 spay and release in the neighborhood...not a solution, but hopefully a step in curbing the problem. Here's Catalina, post operation...ready for a loving home or else back to the street.

And so Cesar Millan...if you can train me....to be able to keep more doggies out of my open-air, no door restaurant...and to keep them away from guests who may not like dogs...and still let them be part of my "family"...I would gladly take two or three more dogs, but for now...I'll have to take care of the animals I have...1 doggie, 2 cats, chickens and ducks, fish and turtles...and of course our Puerto Rican coquises.

Jungle Living

 Maintenance is the name of the game here in the jungle. Plant a tree and come back in two months and see if you can find it. We bought a couple of weeping willows once...imagining a future pond with weeping willows along the shore, but weeds and vines strangled them until they were no longer to be found.

Live at the beach in the tropics and everything rusts from the salt. Live in the mountains and it's the dampness. Buckles corrode...photos disappear... and  old videotapes develop cotton balls long before they were outdated with DVDs.I finally got a dryer when our guesthouse needed dry towels and I couldn't depend on the sun (or me removing dry items on time).

Just look at our "camping area". No longer camping, but our beautiful bowl down the hill...perfect for meditation, bird watching, or simply hanging out....it's a jungle adventure when we haven't cut the grass and a landscaped coconut grove when we have. You can almost watch the grass grow after the rain. Rain, sun, rain, sun....and there it grows..inch by inch.

Our ceiba tree is reaching for the sky. Planted as a sapling with a thorny trunk, it now has lost its thorns and has its massive roots beginning to cross the jungle floor. Sure to outlive us, the ceiba tree has found its home at the base of the hill. This jungle suits it well.


Sometimes it's just a coat of paint that makes things right.

 But usually it's water power that's needed. The pressure machine is our best friend. When the green stuff appears on the sidewalk, it's time to pull out the machine. I wish I could get my hands on one of those New York street cleaners that used to annoy me with alternate side of the street parking. Sitting atop one of those massive machines with the brushes rolling....I could be Queen of the Jungle. Who ever thought you'd have to clean your roofs with so much rain... but what a difference the cleaning can make.

So come and visit us here in the jungle. Watch the grass grow...listen to the sounds of the forest....grab a machete....or if you prefer....stay out of the jungle and just RELAX!

Bilingual..Si o No?

I have lived in the mountains of Puerto Rico for the past twenty seven years. If I had lived in any other Spanish speaking country for this amount of time, I have no doubt that I would be totally bilingual.

Having studied Spanish in both high school and college, I came to Puerto Rico with the ability to read and write and a pretty good vocabulary, although once I got here, I spent most of my time saying, “Que?....what?..slow down….mas despacio, por favor.” After living with a Neyorican who speaks extremely fast,in both English and Spanish, I finally can understand most people face to face. But how come I still can’t understand the guy on the radio telling jokes in the morning? I used to ask the kids if they understood what the guy said, and they would laugh and explain the joke to me. It may have been a lousy joke, but they understood it. Oh well..so much for radio banter..what about the printed page? I should be able to read the headlines…and yet sometimes I’m at a loss for the key words….maybe they’re slang..I don’t know but it seems unbelievable that I can’t!
We have guests that swear that no one speaks English on this island. They’re amazed that with English classes in the schools and so much stateside influence of movies and television that more people don’t speak English and yet everywhere I go and ask a question, people answer me in English. I think people are shy to speak English but anxious to try and practice it, so when I ask a question in Spanish they jump at the chance to answer me in English. I suppose it’s my accent, but I’m often asked if I’d be more comfortable speaking English even though the person asking me may have their own heavy accent.

I have the utmost respect for any person who lives in a country and has to speak a language other than their native tongue. It can be exhausting…or is that just because I haven’t passed the fluency barrier? I do know that it just takes practice to speak another language. After a recent article in the local paper, we’ve had a lot of phone calls and I’ve answered a lot of questions..and with just a month or so of telephone talk, I’ve become more fluent..at least on the subject of TJ Ranch…so practice is the key….but Puerto Rico can make you lazy. The beauty of Puerto Rico..besides the physical beauty…is that I can live here in a ‘foreign’ country where people speak a ‘foreign’ language and yet I can speak English, pay in dollars…it’s foreign, but ‘convenient’. I can also get by with butchering both languages and speak the familiar Spanglish. I can invent words and can be readily understood. I don’t think that would be the case in the mountains of Bolivia.

And so mis amigos….I’ll say adios and tu sabes…I’ll try to work mas duro and practice so that I don’t get so cansada trying to speak. Yo se que yo puedo..I know that I can. Don’t let me switch you over… hablame en español y dejame contestarte.

Hasta luego..

The Oh-My Phone

Things are changing at TJ Ranch. Some people actually have cell service and internet. Years ago it was easy. “There’s no signal here”, I would say and watch the look of panic. Then our guests would take a deep breath, put their phones away and say, “it’s OK, probably good in fact, now we can have a real vacation!”

Now a days we have the worst of all worlds. There’s signal here and there. “Try the fourth step; go to the pool; you can text in the yellow casita…” Phones ring…..”can you hear me now?” It’s a little disconcerting having your phone with you on vacation. I almost feel like making a place setting at the table for the newest member of the family…the know it all. And it does know it all: point at the stars and it’ll tell you what constellation you’re looking at; point at a sign and it can automatically translate it; take a photo of the flower and then it can be identified including all its medicinal properties.

The new phones are technological wonders, but do you really want to spend your vacation looking down? Isn’t a vacation supposed to rid you of that neck ache? Isn’t part of the fun on vacation getting lost and asking for directions? Is it that important to have you phone with you at meals, at the pool and in your cottage at night?

Please people….show me your phone and all that it can do, because it’s new to me and I think it’s really cool….then put it away and enjoy yourself. Make all your calls, e-mails, etc. at one stop (where you have a strong signal) and then look around, talk to people, eat food…and relax and enjoy your vacation!

Talkin' Chicken - TJ Ranch Farm Update

Our chickens are loose; they run all around. I guess now a days the term is “free range”. Our chickens, like all chickens, lay eggs; but finding them is an Easter egg hunt all year long.

In the “old days” there was ‘candling’ to find out if the egg was edible. We put our discovered eggs in water and if they float, it’s time to toss them. Sometimes we let the hens sit on their eggs and then watch her leading her baby chicks around. There will be various hens with their chicks behind, each day the number diminishing due to various obstacles in the life of chicks here on the farm. Our chickens are known for breeding fighting roosters. I’m not sure how we started with them because we don’t raise roosters, but they are tough and do survive the elements. The eggs are small and cream colored with dark orange yolks.

Periodically the roosters fight on their own. It’s their nature and although I don’t believe in adding power to their battles with sharp spurs, etc., cocks are pretty brutal and fight whether you bet on them or not. Periodically we kill a gallo (rooster) and make soup. Too tough to eat, they make an excellent broth which we freeze for future use.

We’re thinking of getting some “ponedoras”…egg layers. It takes about 6 months of careful care before the chicks lay eggs, so it’s usually better to buy older chickens ready to lay…but for now…come join us at TJ Ranch and hunt for some fresh eggs. You won’t regret it. See ya………..

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Health Care in Puerto Rico

Whether you’re a tourist visiting the island or a resident, you can rest assured that Puerto Rico has top quality doctors. For whatever reason there are still well qualified doctors who choose to remain or return to the island. “Brain drain” is well known here. Companies entice university graduates to well paying jobs in the states; NASA picks students from UPR, Mayaguez like ripe grapes on a vine, but there are a variety of doctors and specialists all over the island 'doing medicine" and doing it well.

From my personal experience: an ectopic pregnancy, pre-eclampsia in another pregnancy, a basal cell carcinoma on my lip which could have left me looking like Stacy Keach under the knife of a not too steady dermatologist, I have gotten excellent medical treatment. I know both friends and family who have survived breast, kidney and prostate cancer, all receiving medicine at its best.So that’s the good news. From broken bones to root canals, modern medicine is on the island and doctors know their stuff!

The bad news is that you may die waiting for treatment. We’ll start with a typical situation for a non life-threatening stye. You call the office of the ophthalmologist who says to come between 7am and noon. You arrive around 7:30 and sign the list (number 20) and figure you have time to go for coffee at the truck outside. While you’re gone, your number was called so you lose your turn…finally you are called and you move to a secret waiting room to wait some more. After about 5 hours you see the doctor and are prescribed antibiotics to reduce inflammation and told to return for another appointment. For your second appointment you forgo your coffee and stay firm…you wait 4 hours and are told your stye looks better but come one more time…if it’s not gone, you’ll get it cut out. The next appointment is ‘cutting time’ so you have to go. You wait 2-3 hours and in 5 minutes your highly skilled doctor removes your stye. You have spent approximately 12 hours to get a simple stye removed and have done extensive damage to your back sitting in the office chairs. This doctor is highly recommended for cataracts and all other eye diseases; you decide you’d rather go blind.

I’m not sure where Latinos get their hot headed fiery reputation…maybe in affairs of the heart. I have never seen more patient people waiting to see a doctor. I bring a book or two, some magazines, then I watch TV and talk to the other patients. When my bony butt gets too uncomfortable, I get up and start pestering. I have a mini tantrum stomping my feet and grimacing trying to see the doctor and get through the receptionist who should block for the NFL.

I’ve often asked doctors why they won’t make appointments and they say people don’t show up. That’s when I say that I’m a Gringa and I promise to arrive 15 minutes early and I’ll never stand them up. Pleeeze let me make an appointment by phone…they smile and ignore me. Some offices are more adept than others. My dermatologist makes you sign in and the receptionist can tell you about what time to come back. If you’re not deathly ill, if you have some shopping to do, or if you live nearby, a doctor’s visit doesn’t have to make you crazy. Some offices close for lunch…I arrive at my dentist at 12:30 and sit on the steps with a sandwich til 1 so that I get ‘first’ in the afternoon (and apologize for the pastrami in my teeth). My gynecologist no longer delivers babies so his office has gotten better. Even though he makes appointments with dates and times, there is no way to gauge how long it will take. I honestly don’t know how people can go to medical appointments and hold down a job. So that’s the bad news…and for me, it’s very very bad.

The ugly is as ugly is everywhere…the costs, the insurance, the mess. The fact that my insurance covered a hip replacement operation but not the hip, nor the rehabilitation is ridiculous. The fact that my prescription discount card can reduce a $200 prescription to $140 is a joke. Who knows what ailment is around the corner? I am confident that I can find a competent doctor on the island to treat my problem although I’m not sure I have the mental wherewithal to do it.

If I can only get a doctor to TJ Ranch one time, I’m sure I could get future house calls. I could lure him/her with the food…I could tempt him/her with the privacy of no cell phone service… I can see it all now…the doctor tells his/her receptionist to pass any call through from that crazy Gringa just so she/he has an excuse to leave the office and get away….doctors tell their friends, other doctors …and soon the word spreads and we never have to come off our mountain. Oops…excuse me…I just nodded off…. must’ve been dreaming………..gotta go….they just called my name….J o a n….K???

Here are some pictures of the good ole days when our vet made house calls.